Almost had you there, didn’t I? I believe they call that ‘irony’—or as hipsters refer to it, an entire freaking lifestyle.
For those of you not in the know, “hipsters” like to sit in coffee shops and wear plaid shirts. They also love to ride bikes... What! They do!
This is how hipsters talk: “Hello, are there are no more skinny jeans in stock? I love to match my coffee table with my hat! Excuse me, can I get a ‘selfish’?"
When they’re not busy using their record players to listen to Mumford and Sons, hipsters spend most of their time annoying the living hell out of people like me. Hey hipsters, I found an old rusty bike in my shed, maybe you can use it to drive your hipster butt off a cliff!
Some common hipster stereotypes:
They wear skinny jeans
They have moustaches
They wear bike helmets
They watch Sex and the City
They like to match their hats to their coffee tables
They drive Volvos
They hang out in bridal shops
They clap with only one hand
They put bandaids on their eyes for fun
And there’s no bigger example of a hipster that I know than Prime Minister Justin Rousseau
When you look at him with his hair and his fancy clothes, you just think, jeez, this guy sure thinks he’s some hot shit! Somebody get this guy a fancy cocktail!
Check in tomorrow when we will NOT be talking about the hipster.